In March 2018, I had a fire lit inside of me that I needed to move back home to San Antonio. I knew that I wanted to be in Texas before July 1st. Why this date? I honestly don't know but I knew it was going to happen. I didn't know how or what I was going to do when I got here, but it didn't matter. I just knew it had to be done.
So I started getting organized in April with the most important things I needed to handle like how I was going to get my belongings to San Antonio, health insurance, finding new Physicians & Specialists, transportation service, living arrangements, etc. I was able to have my items shipped by the UPS Store for a reasonable price so I started shipping my items months in advance so that all I needed to bring to San Antonio was me. The items I wasn't going to bring with me I sold on Facebook marketplace and that paid for my shipping costs.
The most important thing I needed to focus on between April and June was staying as healthy as possible and not get too stressed over the move and the responsibilities I needed to take care of. I was working 2 jobs at the time which was equivalent to a part time job. I made the decision to stop working mid May so the last month of my time in Colorado was to focus on tying up loose ends and making sure I would be ready for my move. Just as May was upon us, I went to my Physicians and Dentist to get in my last follow up appointments and prescriptions taken care of. Well, in the midst of this I start experiencing some issues to where I needed to see my Gynecologist for unexplained bleeding. This was literally the last thing I needed to be dealing with. I'm trying to move and I'll be damned if my health was going to jeopardize this. I had to have surgery towards the end of May. Luckily I was able to leave that same day of the surgery and go home. Thank God for my friends who took care of me during my recovery period.
I left Colorado on June 29th and my sister drove me from Houston to San Antonio on July 1st. I hadn't realized it until after the fact that I moved to Colorado in June 1998. I moved back to Texas exactly 20 years later in June 2018. Remember I said earlier that I didn't know how, what, or why I needed to move back home to San Antonio. That's the same scenario I had when I knew I had to move to Colorado. I didn't have a clue as to what I was getting myself into. I just knew I had to go.
Being a bit more responsible and organized this go around, I had my health insurance, transportation service lined up, and living arrangements at my parent's house lined up before I set foot in Texas. Little did I know how much the decision to stay with mom and dad was going to shed light on my purpose for being here.
As soon as I got off the plane in Houston, I felt like I could breathe again both literally and figuratively. I can't explain the figuratively part just yet. That will come later. Physically, being at a lower altitude definitely was a step in the right direction for my health. Next I needed to give it at least a month before I would deflate and truly feel a difference. I say deflate because I was so swollen from the combination of my medications and the climate change from dryness to humidity. Being gone 20 years, you would think that maybe I would at least feel something emotionally good or bad. Well, it honestly felt like I was picking up where I left off but with a different perspective and attitude. I would like to think with more wisdom than when I left but that remains to be seen.
Saturday, November 24, 2018
Sunday, October 21, 2018
Thank You
I've never been one to post reviews on products, services, or companies before until only recently. I've only had to do maybe one or two that were not good but for the most part, I try to post reviews that are good and where I receive the above and beyond customer service. I try to always make a point to say "thank you" to the drivers of the VIA transportation service that drive me around, to the VIA staff members who help schedule my rides, Uber & Lyft drivers, to the people who assist me anywhere from the grocery store to the physician's offices etc. It feels good to say thank you and I would like to think it feels good to receive a thank you.
After my separation three years ago, I came to a point where I remember writing in my journal "thank you" to my ex because he left me and looking back it was one of the best decisions for both of us. We had a 14 year relationship filled with love, hate, respect, disappointment, blood, sweat, and tears. He was in my life for a reason. Despite how things turned out in the end, I'm thankful for that opportunity of having him in my life.
One of my previous supervisors used to periodically say thank you to all his employees. He would go around to each one personally and say thank you and always asked how we were and if there was anything we needed, he was there. That thank you I often received stayed with me. It stayed with me because it showed me that he appreciated me and valued me as an employee. Once that supervisor left, those two words of thank you also left. For me, it was replaced with who are you and remind me again of what do you do here, constantly being reminded when mistakes are made and not offering advice on how to correct the mistake, suddenly your integrity and loyalty are being questioned, and your job being made more difficult each day due to unnecessary stress and pressure. Wow, how do you deal with going from thank you to this? At the time, I was wondering to myself if I was in the twilight zone. Is this really happening? Is this just me? Yes, it was really happening and no, it wasn't just me. You start replaying previous conversations in your mind and you start to ask if any of that was real. Was the praise I once received from this individual from the heart? All those times we would laugh, carry on, and have fun at work was that real? I confided in this individual and vented to them about my frustrations from certain aspects of the job and what I felt was wrong with the system. I appreciated how I could be honest with them. They would correct me when I was wrong and if I was in the right, they would agree and encourage me. They always had my back no matter what and I respected them for this. Then literally from one day to the next, everything changed. I remember the specific day when a speech was made and I could tell immediately by the tone that something was definitely different and things were changing and not for the better. It appears that when certain individuals get more power, it goes to their head. It suddenly changes them and their personalities and how they treat people. I was shocked, hurt, angry, and disappointed that this person whom I respected and looked up to was no longer the person I knew. They were unrecognizable to me.
After this chapter in my life ended, I wrote in my journal "thank you". I had to let go of the bitterness and hurt I was feeling and I had to forgive them in my heart. I was thankful that this situation happened because it lead me to the realization that the job was no longer worth my health. For years, I had been placing the job first and my health and quality of life second. My health issues were becoming more serious and I could no longer afford to do this. This period of my life was challenging, rewarding, difficult, a learning experience, and filled with blood, sweat, tears, and yelling at times, but I loved my time there with all my heart. I made the decision to walk away and it was on my own terms and not anyone else's terms. I'm proud of that.
So the journey continues to be thankful each day for the good and the bad.
Thank you.
After my separation three years ago, I came to a point where I remember writing in my journal "thank you" to my ex because he left me and looking back it was one of the best decisions for both of us. We had a 14 year relationship filled with love, hate, respect, disappointment, blood, sweat, and tears. He was in my life for a reason. Despite how things turned out in the end, I'm thankful for that opportunity of having him in my life.
One of my previous supervisors used to periodically say thank you to all his employees. He would go around to each one personally and say thank you and always asked how we were and if there was anything we needed, he was there. That thank you I often received stayed with me. It stayed with me because it showed me that he appreciated me and valued me as an employee. Once that supervisor left, those two words of thank you also left. For me, it was replaced with who are you and remind me again of what do you do here, constantly being reminded when mistakes are made and not offering advice on how to correct the mistake, suddenly your integrity and loyalty are being questioned, and your job being made more difficult each day due to unnecessary stress and pressure. Wow, how do you deal with going from thank you to this? At the time, I was wondering to myself if I was in the twilight zone. Is this really happening? Is this just me? Yes, it was really happening and no, it wasn't just me. You start replaying previous conversations in your mind and you start to ask if any of that was real. Was the praise I once received from this individual from the heart? All those times we would laugh, carry on, and have fun at work was that real? I confided in this individual and vented to them about my frustrations from certain aspects of the job and what I felt was wrong with the system. I appreciated how I could be honest with them. They would correct me when I was wrong and if I was in the right, they would agree and encourage me. They always had my back no matter what and I respected them for this. Then literally from one day to the next, everything changed. I remember the specific day when a speech was made and I could tell immediately by the tone that something was definitely different and things were changing and not for the better. It appears that when certain individuals get more power, it goes to their head. It suddenly changes them and their personalities and how they treat people. I was shocked, hurt, angry, and disappointed that this person whom I respected and looked up to was no longer the person I knew. They were unrecognizable to me.
After this chapter in my life ended, I wrote in my journal "thank you". I had to let go of the bitterness and hurt I was feeling and I had to forgive them in my heart. I was thankful that this situation happened because it lead me to the realization that the job was no longer worth my health. For years, I had been placing the job first and my health and quality of life second. My health issues were becoming more serious and I could no longer afford to do this. This period of my life was challenging, rewarding, difficult, a learning experience, and filled with blood, sweat, tears, and yelling at times, but I loved my time there with all my heart. I made the decision to walk away and it was on my own terms and not anyone else's terms. I'm proud of that.
So the journey continues to be thankful each day for the good and the bad.
Thank you.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)