Happy Anniversary

December 10th was the 13th year anniversary of my Craniopharyngioma, which is a benign brain tumor that begins in the pituitary gland. I had my first surgery on Dec 10th and my second surgery on Dec 14th. I was in the hospital for almost a month and not expected to survive. They told my parents if I did survive, not only was I going to face serious medical conditions I was going to be totally blind. After defying the odds and only being partially blind, I was diagnosed with HypoPituitarism, Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency, HypoThyroidism, and Traumatic Optic Nerve Neuropathy. I remember struggling every day to physically get up out of bed to get ready and go to work, take care of my responsibilities, and live my daily life. There were many times, I wondered what my future was going to look like if I survived and if I was going to need a caregiver at some point. I realize that if I would've stayed in Colorado and kept going the way I was, I wasn't going to make it much longer. My body and mind were at their breaking point and something was going to give. I had my moments when I literally wanted to end it all and give up because I was so tired of constantly being in and out of the ER and hospital, and struggled to find the right Endocrinologist for my treatment, and my fear was that I was going to be a burden to someone.

Fast forward to now, being back in Texas for the past two years and my health has improved and my body and mind are in a better state. I found an Endocrinologist that has been very supportive, thinks outside of the box and listens to me. I'm able to manage my disease in a much better way now than ever before and how ironic that now I'm a caregiver to my parents. I'm thankful that God intervened and didn't allow me to take my life into my own hands. I'm thankful for everything that I've gone through because it's made me appreciate every single day that I breathe life. God works in mysterious ways and continues to bless and empower me to carry on the mission He has for me.

 

Living Water After Class-Committed To His Mission

 Search and Rescue

When I lived in Summit County Colorado, I worked for the Summit County Sheriff’s Office for 11 years. I worked in a civilian capacity as a Records Clerk and one of my responsibilities involved the management and storage of every record generated by the Sheriff’s Office and Jail. I would have to read and review each of the reports completed by the Deputies to make sure they were free of errors and compliant with the Colorado Bureau of Investigation and FBI reporting requirements. I also had to view all photos associated with the reports. We had a Special Operations Department that often worked with the Summit County Rescue Group with Search & Rescue incidents. I would hear of these incidents as they unfolded and would also have to read and review these reports if our Special Operations were involved.

By the time I received any reports in my box, I already knew what took place and what the outcome was. When there were fatalities involved, I had to prepare myself for the records requests that I was sure I was going to receive from the family members. I would read these reports as an outsider and would at times feel my heart go to my stomach. I could only imagine what the loved ones were going to feel when they read the same report. For each report that involved a death whether it was accidental, suicide, or homicide, I had to treat it as any other report and remind myself that I had a job to do and not get emotionally involved. I remember I had a co-worker that would ask me to sit with her when she would have to view the photos involving a death. She would find it difficult to look at the photos alone. Through the years, I got more comfortable with looking at the photos which I was not sure if it was good or bad. It was good because it helped me do my job but at the same time, I wondered if I had become numb. To some degree, I think I did.

After reading this week’s lesson about search and rescue, it caused me to reflect on my own feelings towards those who do not know God. Today, I had to make a dreaded call that I knew was going to involve an awfully long wait time on hold. I figured I should probably be productive in the process, so I decided to do one of my workout videos while I was on hold and even handled a couple of chores too. Sure enough, I was on hold for about 45 minutes. I was literally multi-tasking! Once the representative came on the line, she was very pleasant and while she was trying to resolve my issue, we began to make small talk and chat about the craziness of the pandemic, and towards the end of the call, I felt the Lord telling me to pray for her. I asked her if I could pray for her and I stated I would be quick because I did not want to take up all her time since I was sure there were other calls she needed to answer. She responded with “take your time”!  She was so appreciative and stated I was an angel sent to her specifically.  I would like to think this could be an example of a spiritual search and rescue. Like all search and rescue missions, they are not planned and can happen at any time. It is a matter of being prepared and equipped with the tools you need to accomplish the mission.

Living Water After Class-Committed To His Worship

The point of this week's lesson was God Deserves Our Worship And Praise. The author touches on how we cheer on our favorite sports teams. I'm not much for football but over the last few years, I've enjoyed watching baseball. I enjoy the game more when the score is close and you can feel the pressure and stress of the players and the fans. I find myself not wanting to watch but at the same time not being able to turn away and at times staying up way past my bedtime to see the end result. It's the anticipation of not knowing what's going to happen next that drives me crazy! I get this same feeling when I'm reading and or listening to my mystery & suspense novels. I can get so involved in the story and characters that I find myself getting anxious and stressed over what's going to happen next. When I'm getting close to the end of the book or audiobook, I've been known to jump ahead to the end to see what happens. Then once I know, I'll go back to where I left off and finish the book. I know. I know it's horrible to do that. I'm breaking one of the "how to read a book" rules! 

One of the questions I felt the Lord asking me was why don't I read the Bible the same way as I read my other books? I remember when I first became familiar with the Bible, I would stay away from the book of Revelations. I wouldn't read it because I was afraid of the ending. I had only heard bits and pieces of what happens at the end times and since I didn't understand it, I was afraid of it so I felt the best thing to do was to just ignore it. To this day, I still haven't read Revelations. Knowing what I know now, you would think I would've jumped ahead and read the ending like I do with my other books. So the question that has yet to be answered by me is why haven't I?

In the "Live It" section of this lesson, it states to do an honest evaluation and determine if any things in your life are objects of worship. Ask God to reveal your heart and lead you to make Him first in your worship. I didn't make it very far into this lesson for God to call me out on my issues in this area. As I mentioned earlier, I love to read and listen to audiobooks. I get so excited when I start a new book and can't wait to finish it so I can start a new one. It's the same feeling God deserves from me when it comes to spending time with him and reading His Word. When I read my books, it's a time to escape and be transformed into another world and I find myself getting involved in the characters as if I'm there seeing the story unfold before my eyes. I get emotionally involved with the characters and feel their pain, frustrations, happiness, and get angry with them too. I need to approach the Word of God in the same way to where I get so involved with it that I can't put it down. That I hang on every word and just soak it into my heart and spirit. The Bible provides insight, wisdom, guidance, power, encouragement, and love. There's plenty of drama, humor, life, death, and every emotion you can think of and a long cast of characters that you will love, hate, be inspired by, ones that will frustrate and anger you, ones you will find yourself rooting for and ones you wish would be eliminated. What more could you ask for? 

My hope is that this forum will open up the dialogue further in order to hear other perspectives on these subjects. Feel free to share your thoughts and any questions you may have on this week's lesson and how it impacted you in the comments below.